Counselling, Psychotherapy and Training, Singapore
When hard things happen, our body doesn’t just forget once the moment passes. Long after our mind moves on, our body might still be holding onto the memories — in the form of tight shoulders, a racing heart, or that feeling of needing to be always ready for something bad.
Trauma leaves behind adaptations — ways our nervous system tried to protect us.
But here’s the thing: many of these patterns — the anxiety, the shutting down, the numbing — aren’t signs of something “wrong” with you. They’re signs of a body that learned to survive.
Healing begins when we stop asking “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking “What happened to me — and how did my body help me survive it?”
Using a somatic lens simply means we listen more closely to the language of the body — because often, the body knows before the mind does.
When I work somatically with clients, we practice:
🌿 Pause and Notice: Instead of rushing to push feelings away, we pause. We ask, Where do I feel this in my body? Maybe it’s a knot in your stomach, tight fists, or a fluttery chest.
🌿 Allow and Befriend: We approach sensations like an old friend who’s been trying to get our attention for a long time. Hey there, I see you. It’s okay.
🌿 Small, Gentle Movements: Trauma can make us freeze or disconnect. Even simple movements — like swaying, stretching your arms out wide, or rocking — can remind your body that it’s safe to feel and move again.
🌿 Breathing and Grounding: No forced deep breaths here. Just gentle awareness — noticing your breath, feeling your feet on the ground, or even wrapping yourself in a soft blanket. Safety first, always.
💛 Hand on Heart, Hand on Belly: Rest one hand on your heart, one on your belly. Let yourself feel the rise and fall of your breath. Whisper to yourself, “I’m right here with you.”
💛 Look Around Slowly: Orient your body to the present moment. Name five things you see that feel safe or pleasant. Remind yourself: I am safe right now.
💛 Pendulation (aka Gentle Shifting): When a tough feeling shows up, see if you can shift your attention back and forth — between the tough feeling and something neutral or even pleasant, like the feeling of your hand resting on your leg.
💛 Compassionate Self-Check-In: Try this next time you’re feeling overwhelmed — instead of “Why am I like this?”, gently ask “What does my body need right now?” Maybe it’s a glass of water, a moment of quiet, or a stretch.
💛 Permission to Go Slow: Healing isn’t a race. Some days you’ll feel more connected, some days you won’t. Both are okay. What matters is that you stay kind to yourself through it all.
The truth is, healing from trauma isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who you had to be to stay safe.
It’s about becoming a better friend to yourself — one who listens patiently, speaks kindly, and shows up again and again, even when things are messy.
You don’t have to do it all perfectly. You don’t have to get it “right.”
You just have to keep choosing compassion — even in the smallest moments.
And trust me, that’s already enough.
